Hi,

Read my articles... www.goodlife.com.ng.
Its a cool Nigerian site.

Kiss kiss.

Its been really hectic with my new job... just like my last. the only difference is that now 'fun' is part of work. I get to interview, dine, rob shoulders and take pictures with celebrities!
Don't you just want my job.

But it does get hectic.

The 'show no anger' rule is one that I really must abide by, a skill I must perfect.

Showing your anger does not really get other parties to appreciate your ordeal... believe it.

Simply make a short and fair statement about the matter, and leave it at that.

Yeah, I know that this is better said than done.
But we must work at it.
As I write this, I am just recovering from a 'showed my anger' conversation.
... and I have resolved to keep it out next time.

My anger didn't change anything anyway.

You all have cool, anger free weekend.

Kiss Kiss.

"That's the girl! It was yesterday. She was posing and feeling like she was too fine in her 'pencil heeled' shoes. When she saw her friends, instead just calling out to them like a normal person, she started screaming so that everyone would look her way. Then as she ran towards them in that silly girlie way, she tripped and fell! Oh you should have been there. It was the mother of all falls. Ah! It was the 'BADDEST' thing. She could not even move.they had to come pick her up.

Some people just ignored her, some felt sorry for her, some watched keen eyed, and others laughed their heads off. It was better than the home videos. So, what do you say?"
I'd say thankyou very much for the update (eventhough no one asked you for it). You tell it so graphically. Such vivid, visual imagery with the infusion of so much relish. I am impressed. Now tell me, which group of spectators did you belong?
I'd love an analysis, so lets ANALYSE. Shall we?
First - the girl.
Yes, Miss Spike heels. What was she after ? Attention?
Why? ...Because she needed it. What brings about this need?

The answer to that would depend on whose attention she was seeking. It could be one person in particular, a clique, or just every living soul. She could have been seeking acceptance, fame, or is just plain insecure.
Next, the audience;
Group 1; They ignored her.
" I have other things on my mind. Please. Let her waste her time." They believe special attention is for special people only, and 'when she has fallen down enough times, she'll give up (like we did) trying to be what she's not. Whatever is destined to be would be. She would soon learn (like we did). Then she?d adjust to ( and concern herself with) the drudge of life ? like we do.'
I could cry for these ones.

Group 2; They felt sorry for her, because they understood.
' That some just need to have attention ' They may not know why or,
'They admit they also seek attention sometimes' They may or may not know why.
Besides, anyone can trip and fall. Even the glamorous actress, Eva Langoria landed on her face, right in front of all the cameras once.
These ones are thinking, ' Oh! Poor girl. Hope she handles it well, like Eva.' Eva stood up laughed at herself, and shrugged it off. she still laughes about it, you know.

Group 3; They watched keen eyed. These are the learners. 'So she tried to 'shine' and fell! ... eh? So how would she pull it off now? Lets see how she going to save face.'

If Miss Heels ends up limping home with a sprained ankle. They would learn never to try, because you could fall. Regardless of how different their circumstances are they simply would not try. But if Danzel Washington pulls up in a Navigator jeep, picks up Miss Heels (bridegroom style), gingerly places her in the back seat, and cruises away. Then they would try it in future.
This group won't take the initiative. No! They wait for you to fly, or fall first.
With Danzel in the scene, Group 1 would now pay attention. ' So she belonged to the ?priviledged class? afterall. The fall was a gimick, nice touch.'
Group 2; 'Oh! I am glad for her. What a 'glam' way to save face. Woooo! that was close!'
Group 4 would simply stop laughing, and look away embarrassed. They?ve have lost their 'shine' now. But why was it so funny to them. Why laugh so hard with all that scorn?
This group would snigger, geer, and gloat at every opportunity. They seem to be in their element when someone else is going down. Negative, nasty remarks are their trademarks.

But, although group 4 folks seem to think they are strong and powerful, the opposite is usually true. Phillip Hodson, of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, says: "More often it's carried out by people who may appear superior but are actually extremely insecure and have a sense of inferiority. " The victims on the other hand aren't weak. Group 4 folks often target people because they're jealous. Believe it.
They aren't at all confident and are suspicious of people who are different from them so gang up and snigger. They attack as a defence.
This group exists in every society and their activities, such as backbiting, jeering,undermining and snide comments, don't seem serious initially but over time they wear the victim down, making them lose confidence. Unless ofcourse the victim KNOWS their true issue - Little (or NO) self worth.

Would you ; Pick faults in what someone(anyone) does or say. Provoke arguments and rifts. Undermine someone, and even distort people's perception of a person to make them think the person is unstable and untrustworthy.
Make someone feel guilty or, inadequate at every opportunity. Could you even be nasty when you are alone with this person, but charming to them in front of other people. These behaviors are not acceptable or excusable, and there is usually an underlying problem causing it; INSECURITY.
No matter how superior these group of people seem, they are actually very insecure and feel very weak.
Is this you?

These four groups are not exclusive ofcourse.
We also have the opportunists who would seize such moments to get attention for themselves. You know what I mean - like rush over to the girl and gush over her. Be nice, and sweet, make a show of bending over to help her up (and of course show off those electrifying legs in that viciously short denim mini skirt).
Can I get a witness?

Also among Group 2, there some who would feel sorry for the girl but shy away, not wanting to be associated with that kind of a mess. Their hard earned 'fly girl' reputation is to be guarded with all seriousness. While others in the same group would speak out their sympathy, and others even offer their help. Hey, there is a group for everyone.
However,this news broadcast limits our analysis to these four groups, and judging from the enthusiasm with which you relayed your 'CNN report', you seem closer to the fouth group than any other.
So did you laugh?

Does bullying, and riddicling give you a sense of POWER?
Is this your territory - your home? It's time to relocate.
Are those Group 4 vipers your brethren?
Is their zone where you live?

Sweetheart, leave the slums. Identify yourself. Be honest about your status, and change it.
Rise from it.
Even if you already live in a cosy apartment, there is always something more?get a mansion. Step up!

Let there be remarks you don't make - not because the person doesn't deserve it. But because the words are just not good enough to come out of your mouth. You get out the gutter, and get the gutter out of you - out of your mouth. It's called 'ELEVATION'. You don't say stuff because others are saying it. You don't laugh because others are laughing. No!
You are bigger than that.You rule your mouth.
If you didn't think it was funny, then you have already upgraded beyond the small league. Then you are top class - high quality. If you thought it was funny, then you are not. However, this high class is only one decision away.
But first, you must honestly answer this question.
Did you laugh?

Seventy-five year old Hilda Shlick thought she lost nearly all her family in the Holocaust until her Internet-savvy grandsons located her 81-year-old brother in Canada. "After 65 years, I have found the sister who I love," Simon Glasberg said Monday in heavily accented English, his eyes filling with tears. "I can't stop kissing her." He is thankful, so is she. A mystery that spanned six decades and three continents. During a family conversation in the summer of 2006, Hilda’s grandsons learned her maiden name was Glasberg, and began to investigate her past, her grandsons Benny and David both in their 20s. They logged onto the Yad Vashem Web site and found a page of testimony submitted in 1999 by her brother Karol, of Montreal, who wrote about his sister Hilda, who "perished in the Shoah." fifty years ago. Karol died that same year, but further searches through the Web site of the Montreal Burial Society and online forums of survivors of Chernowitz, Hilda's grandsons were able to track down his son, who filled in the blank spaces for them. Hilda’s parents died in the 1980s in Montreal, living well into their 90s, as did her brother Eddie, who died in 2004. Mark Glasberg also lives in Ottawa, but was too ill to travel to Israel to meet his sister. His son Irving, however, lives in Israel, only half an hour away from her. It was an emotional reunion Friday 15th of September 2006. When Simon, who now lives near Ottawa, Canada, saw his gray-haired little sister for the first time, he recognized her immediately, he said. "I felt I couldn't talk. I just cried," he said. "You don't understand, 65 years ..." and his voice just trailed off. Hilda Shlick, too was overwhelmed by the discovery. "For 65 years, I lived thinking I had no family besides one sister,"(Bertha died in 1970). The last time the two saw each other was in 1941, when the Glasberg family of Chernowitz, Romania, was separated after the Nazis invaded. She was only 10 years old, .and escaped to Uzbekistan with her older sister Bertha. The rest of the family; parents Henia and Benzion, and brothers Simon, Mark, Karol and Eddie — stayed in Romania, finding refuge in a basement. The fate of one sister, Pepi, remains unknown. She disappeared and is presumed to have been killed by the Nazis.Simon Glasberg, his brothers and parents emigrated to Canada after the war ended. Shlick and her sister moved to Estonia, where Bertha died. In 1998, Hilda then immigrated to Israel. It’s a whole new life for these elderly siblings. A whole new family. Imagine that.
Policeman Ksor Lu long had his eight year old daughter Ro Cham H'pnhieng watching the cattle, and then she was gone! It was concluded that she must have been eaten by a wild animal.
Eighteen years later loggers reported to the police that they had captured a ‘forestman’ (like a caveman) who had taken their lunch.
Ksor Lu long recognized his daughter instantly. Her skin was black, her hair was all the way to her legs, and she could not speak. She had spent eighteen (18) years roaming the Cambodian jungle. She would shout and cry when they tried to get her to shower and won’t wear clothes, wont use chop sticks; wants to eat with hands. It took four days to get her to begin to cooperate.
But she was alive with her whole life ahead of her. Her father was thankful.

How about little Miss Miracle. Her Mum was told while pregnant for her that her baby would be born with heart defects. That was an understatement. Tiegan was born with her heart was upside down, and it was in the wrong place, with one of the atrium chambers missing, one of the ventricle pumping chambers not working and no pulmonary valve at all. In addition, she has no spleen and her liver is on the wrong side of her body. She was given just 2 weeks to live at birth.. since then she's had 9 heart operations, suffered two comas and had MRSA, contracted meningitis and then been brought back to life after she 'died' for 20 mins.. & still She has lived for nine years, and her mother is thankful for it.
. "It (Tiegan’s heart) stopped for 20 minutes, which meant she was dead," said Carol, 54, who is the girl's legal guardian. "But then it started up again." Tiegan was back home in weeks ,and was bridesmaid for an aunt's wedding. In the following four years however she went back into hospital 12 times with infections and illnesses. But last summer, she collapsed with meningitis and was taken to Great Ormond Street hospital in a coma. "We were told that after a month Tiegan would suffer brain damage and had agreed to turn off her life-support machine," said Carol. "But two days before the month was up, she came round." But in short while, Tiegan took another turn for the worse and slipped back into a coma, she also contracted MRSA. left her totally deaf and unable to walk, talk or remember her own family. "We had to put photos of the family on the wall because she didn't know who anyone was," said Carol. But Tiegan came home and learnt to walk again. With the help of cochlear implants, she now speaks well and has even learnt to sing. Her family is hopeful, and thankful.
Think about it, Ksor Lu long has lost 18 years of his daughter’s life. Is he asking why?
Why did she have to get lost? Why didn’t any logger see her all these years?
Why did she have to suffer under the rain and sun, with no shelter and all alone for not one day, not one week, not one month, not 3 months, not one year, not ten years, but eighteen years. Eighteen long, endless years. Why?
She lost her childhood, her teens, and so much of her youth. She lost her speech. Eighteen years of her life! Living like an animal. How long would it take, and how difficult would it be to bring her round to civilization?
No, he’s not asking all that. He’s just thankful. His daughter was dead and now she’s alive. Lost, and now found. She has her whole life ahead of her.

Simon Glasberg is not asking why either.
Why the separation from his sister, why their parents never saw their daughter again (their parents are dead now).
Why the holocaust in the first place.
No, he’s just thankful. His sister is alive, and he got to meet her again before his death.
He held her again. Since that Friday's reunion, the family bond has been re-established, with the two elderly siblings playfully joking and reminiscing in a hearty mixture of Russian and Yiddish. Their large families have quickly become close. Making up for lost time. The new extended family shared the Jewish New Year together, catching up on a half-century of history. Hilda said she plans to travel to Canada soon to see her other relatives and visit the graves of the parents she lost as a child.

Who can begin to imagine the trauma of a mother with an extremely ill baby? Pronounced dead and dieing from the very beginning of her life all the way up? No, you can not imagine the half of it! The doctors had given up so many times that now they have given up on giving up. But Carol is thankful, and mummy is thankful too as she watches her daughter go to school, and play happily with her mates. Oh no, it’s not over yet, there is ‘minimum’ of a heart and lung transplant, and a ‘maximum’ of God-knows-what ahead of her (them). Yet mummy is just thankful. Seventeen (17) operations and still thankful

Yet there you are all grumpy and unthankful. Tell me why.
Give me one good reason.
So many are much worse off than you are. Too many infact. These are people we should be reaching out to instead of wasting precious time grumbling about our predicaments and envying people who have more than us on the outside, but on the inside are facing more turbulence than we can even fathom.
If you still think there is nothing to be thankful about, go to the cemetery and look at the ages of children on gravestones…. They never had a chance.
When you are done, go to Oshodi at midnight and see abandoned 6, 7, and 8, year old kids sleeping on and under the bridges. Sleeping out in cold. Left out in the rain and under the sun. Forgotten. If you still think everybody is better off than you, then you didn’t hear about 16 year old Vumiliar Lukindo who was gang raped by 4 men while she was nine (9) months pregnant. "They gang-raped me and pushed sticks up my vagina - that's when my baby died - they said it was better than killing me." Vumi suffers from incontinence, and cannot sit down because of the pain, the result of a horrific rape incident well over a year ago. The men then stole her few belongings and her community, unable to live with the smell (she can not hold her pee), shunned her. But, she is in a UN improvised hospital now and, she hopes only to be healed. She is not alone, the Congo ‘camp’ is full of ravaged women waiting for the vital operation they need to rebuild their reproductive organs. …“The savagery we have here is beyond imagination," the surgeon Dr Ahuka said. Horrific? Yes. Now tell me, what is your own problem? How does your situation compare to this? ….trifling I would say.
Safari Masika was waiting for her second operation. This proud 42-year-old mother of eight told of how, after this operation, she would once again be "able to stand with other people and praise God". … and you? What are you bitter about? What is the situation you cannot come out of?
If Oprah Winfery could come out of it, so can you. Read up her story, it’ll bring tears to your eyes. How about the legendary James Brown? Abandoned by his parents at age 4. A renown petty thief as a little boy. But he put his good foot down. Who said you cant? WHO? Ever heard MKO Abiola’s story? Do you know what the ‘K’ in MKO means? Do you know why he was named Kashimawo? Yet you have four lovely kids without stress. Ever been thankful for them? Abiola talked about his childhood enough times…. I never heard any bitterness. No not once…inspite of it all … not once, only gratitude. Take another look at the life of the man called Nelson Mandela. Put your good foot down! How dare you not be thankful?
Okay, you were born in Nigeria,(instead of Las Vegas USA). So what? Others were born in Iraq, Somalia, Congo, Lebanon. Would trade places with them right now. Are you really that ignorant? You suffered terribly from a cold last season. I offer my sympathy, but people live in Alaska you know. Your hair line is receding, but Jim Ham had his scalp torn open by a lion Thursday 25th Jan 2007. It had to be stitched up like a basket ball, but he is thankful to be alive.
What’s your excuse to grumble? Happy endings are made with help from above. But the point is that they are made… they don’t fall from the clouds. When it comes down to it, your life really is your own creation. That creation - a situation you can walk right out of. Are you still alive?
Take charge! Grumbling never got anyone anywhere. It leaves you blind to future possibilities.
Count your blessings and build upon them. Lift your hands to the sky and be thankful. It’s the first step to progress.
Whatever you’ve got, you’ve got a lot. Come on, show some gratitude.

‘Come on. Who’s watching you anyway/”
Has anyone ever said that to you before?
Now you even say it to yourself, don’t you?
“… Who’s looking at me anyway?”

You are never seen, but you see everyone.
You saw neighbour girl sneak out for a cuddle with Mr. Charm (who wouldn’t even look at you). But no one saw you flirt with your biology professor in freshman year.

You saw the waitress pinch from a customer’s meal, but no one saw you blow your nose over the banister from the fifth floor. Or pull the chewing gum right out of your mouth and stick it behind your ear for later. No one ever sees you. Really!
The entire world is blind! The universe infact when it comes to you. Or are you invisible?

You know the truth.
If you can see others, then they can see you.
When people say say; ‘who’s looking at you anyway?’.
They don’t mean that nobody sees you. They mean that you are simply not significant enough for anyone to pay serious attention to your activities. So that even though the act may matter, its alright since you don’t matter.

Do you believe that? Are you less significant in the world than the hungry waitress, or the blind beggar you saw peeking at his earnings when he thought no one was watching?

They sold you a lie and you bought it.
Listen up.

Everyone sees. The good, the better, the fantastic. The bad, the worse, the ugly.
What people say or don’t say doesn’t always represent their true feelings about what they saw. But make no mistake about it. You were seen by heaven, and earth, especially heaven.
Oh! Am sure your next response would be; ‘I don’t live by other people’s opinions of me.’
Well, good for you, but what about the heaven people’s opinion of you?
What about your opinion of you?

Why is it that never gave a second thought about picking your nose until you saw that beautiful lady laughing her head off? Only then did you consider what you must have looked like as you pulled that boogies out of nose, wiped it on your shirt, and picked up your sausage roll. Only then did the word ‘hygiene’ cross your mind.

Why didn’t you ever consider quitting smoking until your 6 year old nephew asked for a toot on your ciggie? Or reconsider your new ‘pornography collector status until your 4 year old baby daughter mimicked the nude pose she saw you drooling at two days ago?

Truth be told. You don’t live for yourself. Nobody does.

You are a doctor today because, at age twelve you saw a doctor save a boy’s life (on television). You saw the tears roll down his mother’s cheeks and you were touched.
Wonder what your kids are watching on TV these days?

We affect each other (and ourselves)by our actions and inactions. Ignorance does not relieve us of the responsibility, nor eliminate our accountability.

Tell me. If you were called up to account for your every move in 2006, how many of them would you skip? Ten, or ten million?
Oh yes, I am thinking of it right now. So should you.

We want people to be proud of us. It’s important to us.
It’s more important we be prouder of ourselves, but it’s most important that heaven be proudest.

Someone (UP THERE) is always watching.
And it’s a good thing. Do you really want to left alone?